it would be much easier to go through life believing that we are impervious to our surroundings. ignorance, denial, equivocation--there is beauty and simplicity in not knowing, in simply not wanting to know. but i am a hunter, a collector. i seek the why behind the how, the perpetual "because." okay isn't enough for me. i don't just want to get it.

so i demand, i ask, a lot from those that surround me--the select few people in my life to whom i choose to open my doors. to those not asking or to those that i cannot grant access, it seems unfair, my system of expectations. but it is mine, and i stick to it. i give truth when truth is warranted, ask questions when i want to know.

ignorance, for me, is a slow death that i have chosen--for the most part--to eliminate from my life. i may cast people--good people--aside in my process, my quest for knowledge acquisition, but it is only right. i would rather be alone than lie to myself, or to others, and say, simply, that everything is okay.

and i apologize to those that i have left behind, to those that i have hurt in the process. it was really no one's fault.